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[–]HonkersTim 9637 points9638 points  (1379 children)

Some neighbours would lose their shit if you cleaned their side of a shared wall. "Are you saying I'm lazy?!! Let's fight!"

[–]saymesaymanymuffins 2212 points2213 points  (427 children)

My neighbor got mad at me for picking up the litter around our houses because she had "already called the city to come look at it". She wanted me to put it back.

[–]Zamaza 1485 points1486 points  (92 children)

I saw my neighbors newspaper in the street so I put it by their mailbox instead when I was getting my mail. The next day I had a note in my mailbox saying I shouldn't "touch or trespass on their property". Sort of ironic they were renting and gone less than 90 days later.

[–]ActionBastardBeam 1228 points1229 points  (22 children)

Sort of ironic they touched your property to tell you not to touch theirs, excluding the mumbo jumbo about mail boxes being federal property or something like that.

[–]60FromBorder 120 points121 points  (0 children)

He should have put a stamp on the newspaper so they wouldn't know!

[–]JESUS_on_a_JETSKI 580 points581 points  (318 children)

"That would be littering, and that's illegal."

I sometimes bring an extra bag with me when walking my dog and pick up the random bits of trash along the way. Once, the night before trash pick up when garbage bins are placed on the curb in front of the corresponding home, I tossed my full litter bag in a bin that was not mine. The home owner came out from his home, said "I saw what you did. Don't think you can get away with vandalizing people's property. Take that shit out of my bin or I'm calling the police!"

I had done that several times and never thought it was crossing any boundaries. No one else had yelled at me for it and I wouldn't yell at anyone if they placed trash in my bins while on the curb. But I now think twice before I do it to a stranger-neighbor.

(And yes, I removed the bag of trash and apologized. He seems a bit unhinged and I didn't want to provoke him. All I could think about is this person throwing poisoned dog treats on the ground nearby in an attempt to get back at me by hurting my dogs.)

[–]_AlreadyTaken_ 479 points480 points  (60 children)

"Vandalizing"? How do you vandalize a trash bin by putting trash in it?

[–]Sannyboy 508 points509 points  (11 children)

Stop vandalizing Reddit by posting comments and browsing!

[–]VoilaVoilaWashington 242 points243 points  (8 children)

I vandalised your comment by upvoting. Sucker.

[–]CharizardKilla 30 points31 points  (1 child)

How can he even begin to take your advice seriously when you yourself are also vandalizing reddit?!?!

[–]Billsrealaccount 101 points102 points  (31 children)

Its not vandalizing but some people will put thier dog shit bags into other peoples trash cans. It may fall to the side and when the garbage man pulls out the big bag it gets left in the bottom.

[–]JESUS_on_a_JETSKI 47 points48 points  (6 children)

I 100% understand how bagged dog waste could be an issue for some people. I take it home with me and put it in my own bin. I put a bag of litter in his bin - no poop. I won't do it again, though!

[–]glitchn 91 points92 points  (8 children)

Yeah I can't blame the guy for not wanting some random walking his dog to put bags in my can. Only a few reasons jump to mind when you see someone do it, like you assume it's dog shit or something they didn't want in there own can for some reason like something illegal.

But in general I try not to be an ass especially to my neighbors, so I would have just let it go. If I had started to notice shit scent coming from the can later then it would be worth saying something next time. Also I just don't keep my can at the curb long enough for this to be a problem, nor do I constantly monitor who does what as they walk by so I wouldn't have noticed it.

[–]Beyond-The-Blackhole 65 points66 points  (1 child)

I rather some random stranger throw their dog shit in my trash bin then just leave it in the street or side walk. It's an outdoor trash bin. It's not like it's my inside bin.

[–]Saint_Oopid 150 points151 points  (9 children)

When anyone confronts me with this type of pseudo-legalese, I nope out as quickly as possible. This provokes more fear in me than anything, in part because of castle doctrine's use in Florida, but mostly because anyone that shifty who took the time to create delusions in their mind that their neighbors are out to get them is deeply disturbed. You do not jump to the conclusion that someone is attempting to do you harm by putting litter in a curbside trashcan without serious imbalance. What takes it to another level is apparently this angry neighbor was watching this happen, which naturally makes you wonder how often they're secretly staring at you.

I once had a man threaten to kill me while his wife and teenage children screamed obscenities at me because I walked through a county-owned road shoulder next to their fenced-in yard. They were all rather insistent that I was trespassing and deserved to die. This was in my middle-class suburban neighborhood. I assume they're running a drug operation out of their house, otherwise I can't for the life of me understand how that scene played out. That was a serious WTF moment.

[–]TabMuncher2015 66 points67 points  (1 child)

I assume they're running a drug operation out of their house

You don't keep your drug operation secret by running around screaming, threatening to kill people. Unless you're on drugs and crazy.... maybe you're on to something

[–]UsedandAbused87 145 points146 points  (25 children)

I live in a small city and people throw trash in my can all the time. I don't care at all as long as somebody doesn't fill it up or put something terrible smelling in there. I figure it's just trash and they could easily just throw it on the ground.

[–]forest_ranger 134 points135 points  (6 children)

I wish I could get the kids to use my can instead of throwing chip bags in my bushes, next to the can.

[–]spade-s 136 points137 points  (5 children)

Leave poisoned dog treats out for the kids

[–]Strictly_Baked 67 points68 points  (5 children)

I would drop an empty can of pop or empty pack of smokes in peoples cans when I was a teen. Seemed better than throwing it on the ground. Enough people already do that.

[–]elsprockett 69 points70 points  (10 children)

It's definitely not vandalizing but you could make a case for illegal dumping. Not that you did anything wrong, IMO, and most cops would probably laugh at the clearly unhinged homeowner, but technically it may be illegal even if he didn't know what he was talking about

1 of my neighbors sneaks trash into one of my other neighbors bins (we have to pay for our trash collection) because she'd rather spend her money on cigarettes and alcohol than trash pickup.

Aggrieved neighbor has had the cops out several times and has shared, in excruciating detail, the finer points of local trash law with me even though I don't want to know (but am too polite, generally, to cut him off)

[–]QuixoticQueen 117 points118 points  (95 children)

There was a thread on here not long ago about putting rubbish in other people's bins. I was surprised at home many think it's bad manners or are against it.

My theory is, if my bin is on the curb, go for it, as long as what ever you're throwing in there is not going to get me in trouble.

[–]slop_drobbler 136 points137 points  (48 children)

Generally I'm fine with it, but when someone tosses in a badly wrapped and extra sloppy dog turd that smears all over the inside of my bin, I'm definitely not fine with it

[–]MommyBooger 11 points12 points  (0 children)

This is possibly what the man was thinking, that someone just threw dog poop in his trash can.

[–]peacewithcylons 222 points223 points  (120 children)

My neighbors tend the plants and mow the grass on the side of our house that is next to their driveway. I'm so thankful we have a little less to do. They're happy they get to make it look exactly the way they want it to.

[–]jim_br 481 points482 points  (106 children)

Ummm, be careful.

Two houses away from me, the neighbors to my neighbors did this. Grass seed, cut, watered, a few plants, etc. about a one foot strip, 30 feet along the property line.

After a few years, my neighbors finally get around to redoing their driveway. Part of the work included widening it to the property line. Their neighbors, the ones tending that strip of land, drag them to court claiming the land is theirs by default.

They produce receipts for the sprinklers and plants they installed over the property line 13 years ago (before my neighbors moved in), and maintenance receipts for replacement sprinkler heads noting the locations. Then they had pictures every year showing the "strip's" landscaping integrated with theirs. So much documentation showing how they cared for the land, I'd say it was premeditated.

My neighbors are too honest and admit they knew where the property line was, but didn't say anything for the 11 years they lived there. 10 years seemed to be the deadline to say something.

It cost them $7k to get their land back and they had to pay to move their neighbors sprinklers.

Edit: just checked with my wife - $7k was to pay the neighbors legal fees, sprinkler head relocation, and other costs for them to drop their claim to the land.

As someone else mentioned, my neighbors were advised if they went to court, and admitted they said nothing, it would put them at a disadvantage.

Their lawyer said sending a registered letter every three years stating they own the land and are not giving up their title - or something like that - is sufficient to keep a claim away.

[–]Set-To-Wumbo 171 points172 points  (9 children)

My parents were in a situation where about 7 different houses on a lake front were surveyed recently only for them to realize every single house and yard was about 2 feet shifted off the legally documented property lines. All they had to do was agree to just legally shift the property lines for everyone to where the actual houses were, and no one would lose property and no one would have to pay to renovate to the correct property lines.

Well the jackass on the end of the row realized if he could muscle the neighbor next to him into not shifting the property line on his part, he'd effectively gain 2 feet of property since the other side he bordered was state land and they already adjusted that property line. And man he raised a fucking huge ordeal over this, wanting to snag up just a little bit of extra property and cause major issues for everyone else who just wanted to agree to shift property lines.

[–]tinycole2971 73 points74 points  (2 children)

What a douche. I hope the judge laughed him out of court.

[–]phD_in_Random 32 points33 points  (1 child)

I had friends in Kindersley (small town, Saskatchewan) who lived in a subdivision. They built their house and lived in it for 6 years, then the town/city decided to re-draw the property lines. They fought it in court and lost so they were fined for having their property not be on the property properly. Their house is now "off" by less than 3 inches and they are not permitted to even sell their home unless they "fix" it meaning move the entire house less than one foot. They are pissed. This was in 1996 so maybe it's been resolved by now.

[–]MrRexTheGreat 18 points19 points  (0 children)

The government, dealing with the real issues.

[–]belastingdienst 14 points15 points  (2 children)

What ended up happening?

[–]Set-To-Wumbo 54 points55 points  (1 child)

My parents struggled for months with all the other neighbors trying to get the guy to sign the agreement for a process that could have taken a couple days. They (whatever department of the state that was handling it at that point) eventually ended up having to take him to court to force him to agree to the neighbor's property shift because he had accepted the shift into the state land already and was freezing the process for everyone else. So everything turned out okay eventually but the guy was still a major douche who cost tax payer dollars and a bunch of people's time just because he was a selfish twat.

[–]AllDepressedChips 114 points115 points  (18 children)

After "getting their land back" and paying for the sprinklre removal I would have counter sued for all the years of tresspassing, alteration and installment of sprinklers on their property. The first court battle was a property dispute, the second is criminal trespassing, vandalism and attempted theft of land.

[–]ghoti_styx 115 points116 points  (5 children)

Shit, I would have just screamed "you think you're better than me?!" as I burn their house down.

[–]Spock_Rocket 21 points22 points  (2 children)

No no no, what you have to do is paint their house every night when they go to sleep, and take a picture before they wake up. Do this for 11 years and then sue them for their house and demand payment on 100,000 gallons of paint.

[–]1mikeg 11 points12 points  (0 children)

You can't claim criminal trespass without first having a notice of ban issued to the offender. After they violate the ban from the property, then you can pursue criminal trespass. None of which entitles you to any kind of damages or compensation, unless you can prove that they did damage in that instance of criminal trespass.

None of the others would hold up either unless you had documented incidents where you told the neighbor to stop and filed complaints against them. Basically, all of that would be too late to get any traction in court at all.

[–]happyhappyfool 123 points124 points  (15 children)

7k for a one foot strip? I own my house. If there was a one foot strip my neighbors had been taking care of for 11 years, they can have it. I'd be pissed for sure, but a one foot strip I wasn't using wouldn't be worth 7k to me. Maybe it was the principle of the matter.

EDIT: Just thought of it affecting the overall property value. I would still have a hard time accepting to pay that much though.

[–]tight_hammies 61 points62 points  (2 children)

1 ft strip 30 ft long is a considerable amount of property especially when it borders on someone elses property.

[–]cucumberbrain 75 points76 points  (0 children)

It's somewhat understandable in the context of widening the driveway.

[–]Do_GeeseSeeGod 24 points25 points  (2 children)

A woman I know just sold a 10 foot strip to her neighbor for $950k so he could expand his garage a bit. Waterfront property.

[–]rchase 35 points36 points  (2 children)

That 70's Show where Bob figures out he owns half of Red's garage...

Bob: Sorry Red, the beer's on my half of the garage.

Red: If you don't put that beer down, half my foot's gonna be in your ass.

[–]_AlreadyTaken_ 43 points44 points  (8 children)

I let my neighbors know if I have any plans for our borders. I thank god we are friends with our neighbors (we even walk their dog when they go on vacation) after hearing so many horror stories.

[–]TheHykos 138 points139 points  (4 children)

After 10 years of walking their dog you'll be able to claim part of it as your own!

[–]princeapalia 335 points336 points  (123 children)

It's incredible how petty some people are. Back when I was a kid, one of our neighbours always forgot to put their bins out, so they would just overflow, and the birds would spread rubbish everywhere.

One day, my parents took their bins out for them, and the asshole neighbours emptied their bins all over our lawn as a result. Thankfully we caught it on CCTV.

[–]VTSvsAlucard 136 points137 points  (116 children)

I just don't even understand....

Edit: This is why HoAs aren't as evil as I used to think.

[–]Celery_Stick_Figure 180 points181 points  (54 children)

HoAs in general are fine just as long as you don't have little Hitlers or Nurse Ratchets on the board. They can help protect your property values or they can be just like high school where the "cool kids" make everybody else's life a living hell.

[–]effyochicken 77 points78 points  (36 children)

It's best to keep the PTA mom's off the HOA board. The power is just too great to handle.

[–]Celery_Stick_Figure 78 points79 points  (30 children)

I don't mind the PTA moms as much as I mind the bored retired alter kaker who goes out every morning with a micrometer to measure the neighbor's St. Augustine. (And deity help that neighbor if it's more than 1/64" higher than the bylaws say it can be.)

[–]zxzxzxzxzxzz 65 points66 points  (18 children)

There are people who go around my neighborhood with clipboards every week or so. I once got a letter saying if I didn't move the Uhaul trailer infront of my house they would fine me. It was the neighbors trailer just parked kind of near my house... for a day. Someone saw it the day it was there and immediately sent me snail mail threatening to fine me if it wasn't moved.

[–]Celery_Stick_Figure 90 points91 points  (1 child)

My aunt lives in a HoA neighborhood and regularly gets those love letters because some of the roses in her rose bushes are pink instead of the HoA-"approved" red. She's been before the board several times and they've laughed and told the complainer to knock it off, but the complainer is retired and apparently has little else to do so the complaints continue.

[–]Zero_Gh0st85 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Well, pink roses can drive property values down. If I were looking to buy the house next to your Grandma's, could you imagine what I'd think if I looked over and saw pink roses? /s

[–]Zero_Gh0st85 19 points20 points  (7 children)

My dad ran on our HOA board. He's a retired factory worker who smokes tons of weed and is chill as fuck. He has to go around with the clipboard to observe infractions. But we don't have crazy rules. More like.... Bring your fucking trash cans in from the road after 2 days or.... Cut your fucking grass...

[–]MyBigNose 37 points38 points  (8 children)

You don't need an HOA for this, just a simple town ordinance. That is unless you want Larry from two blocks over telling you that you can't park in the driveway after 9 o'clock or some stupid crap like that.

[–]_elementist 72 points73 points  (15 children)

Edit: This is why HoAs aren't as evil as I used to think.

What's worse, having 1-2 bad neighbors, or a dozen bad neighbors, with a say in how you live.

[–]ejara80 2309 points2310 points  (467 children)

When I was a teenager we had a neighbor who would lose her shit if my mom dared to broom her sidewalk... My mom did it because all the dirt and leaves from her sidewalk would end up in ours, not precisely for being good to her.

Turns out that lady was a hoarder. We didn't know the term at that time, we only know she was a filthy person.

Edit: Wow, never expected that my highest rated comment would be about my filthy hoarder neighbor. Something good had to come out of her (no pun intended).

[–]_AlreadyTaken_ 1710 points1711 points  (62 children)

Your mom was throwing out her dirt and leaves. Someone could use that dirt and leaves after all. Stop wasting them.

[–]BobTheSCV 414 points415 points  (27 children)

[–]someone755 105 points106 points  (2 children)

Look at this fatcat running around and telling people about our fortune.

That subreddit is worth at least 3 lentils, why would you do this?

[–]BiggieMediums 183 points184 points  (7 children)

Look at this fatcat over here who has calories to spare to forage for vegetation. The better solution is to lay next to a dumpster with your mouth open and catch whatever you can without moving.

[–]Eldium 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Think of the lentils!

[–]natedogg787 28 points29 points  (1 child)

Fucking fatcat hasn't even digested his own lips, mouth, and stomach yet.

[–]Krombopulos_Micheal 38 points39 points  (1 child)

and these beautiful women.. they used to be men!

[–]PM-ME-YOUR-DOGPICS 30 points31 points  (12 children)

I never throw out dirt and leaves, you never know when you'll need them, and when you do you'll be kicking yourself in the butt for tossing them

[–]_AlreadyTaken_ 24 points25 points  (9 children)

Just put them in a bag next to the old broken rubber bands, bits of wire and twist ties

[–]nurse_with_penis 166 points167 points  (359 children)

Ah so your mom was one of those people that cleaned her sidewalk with a broom.

[–]psycospaz 101 points102 points  (12 children)

Our property line goes down this 10 foot wide strip of grass between our driveway and the neighbors driveway. Well we don't kow exactly where the line is only that it goes across at a slight angle. so it's a race each week to see who mows the strip first. They beat me last week, but I just won this week!

[–]horsebag 73 points74 points  (8 children)

you race to do extra work? who are you people

[–]VoilaVoilaWashington 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Get an automatic mower and set it to "always on."

[–]_AlreadyTaken_ 88 points89 points  (6 children)

I had a girlfriend get upset because I cleaned the filthy sink at her place. "Yes, you are a slob and I'm grossed out using your bathroom."

[–]akeniscool 40 points41 points  (0 children)

All of these are pretty textbook "I'm wrong but I can't handle it" reactions.

[–]GB_WL 24 points25 points  (4 children)

Done this and broke up over it. I never wanted to go round hers as it was a tip, but one day I stayed over and cleaned for 8 hours straight as I had the day off. It was apparently the worst thing I could of ever done as now she didn't know where on the floor her clean clothes were.

[–]unicornlocostacos 45 points46 points  (7 children)

I have a bush that is technically planted on my side, but is pretty much spilling over to their side. I didn't plant this bush, as it was here when I got here. We each trimmed our own side.

When my new neighbors came in, buying that house, I asked what they'd prefer to do, as I had no problem doing their side too if I went first. They opted to do it themselves. Sometimes it's just easier to keep shit separated so you have control of what is going on on your side (when the mess happens, how much it gets trimmed, etc.). It looks childish at a glance, but it's just easier, and less stressful for many adults to keep it simple.

[–]3xTheSchwarm 295 points296 points  (41 children)

I was invited to a good friend's home to cook a meal for him and several others. When I got there the kitchen was filthy. So I cleaned it. When he realized I'd done this he became very upset with me. Exactly like you are describing. Had to finally say sorry but I would not consume food cooked in the state your kitchen was in. Later when I went to the restroom it was so filthy. The toilet bowl was brown to the waterline. Hairs all over the sink. Like years worth of shaving. The tub had black bacteria all around it. He had clearly never learned to clean up after himself to the point he didn't even see filth. We remained friends but I never went back to his place again. The few times he brought girls back home he nevergot another date. I mean no shit. Huge red flag. Think they are going to clean that shit up for you, bro?

[–]gropingforelmo 169 points170 points  (3 children)

I don't consider myself the most fastidious of bachelors when it comes to cleaning, by any means, but I'm still shocked when I see bathrooms like that. It's not just guys either; I've spent the night with a lady friend or two and had to suppress the urge to, at minimum, wipe down the counter.

Also, just being pedantic, but the black stuff around the tub is likely staining from mildew, not bacteria. Still gross, just not a smorgasbord of active pathogens.

[–]horsebag 74 points75 points  (21 children)

you were invited to a friend's house to cook for him? can I invite you to do my laundry?

[–]3xTheSchwarm 54 points55 points  (10 children)

I knew someone was going to ask about that. I'm not a professional cook but Ive taken a lot of classes, love cooking, and teaching others, and at least according to my friends am pretty good at it. So it's not unusual to have friends or clients invite me over to cook a meal. Sometimes they buy the ingredients but more often they just reimburse me. We all hang out in the kitchen. Sometimes they want to learn how to cook the meal. Sometimes they just want to hang out.

[–]sunnbeta 29 points30 points  (4 children)

Yeah I can't tell if this is a passive aggressive cleaning, or a considerate cleaning

[–]cucumberbrain 35 points36 points  (2 children)

It also could just be lazy. If it was taking some serious elbow grease to scrub that off, I could see myself being like "fuck it, i'm not scrubbing their side, too."

[–]Schytzophrenic 32 points33 points  (4 children)

When I first saw pic this I interpreted it as the neighbor saying this guy is lazy. By cleaning exactly half, it highlights the dirt better, advertising to the neighborhood who is clean and who is dirty.

[–]30-xv 141 points142 points  (57 children)

Let me sue you.

Ftfy

[–]Drycee 300 points301 points  (43 children)

Had some crazy rich neighbours (it was like one of 5 houses they owned and the just cycled through them). They sued literally everybody in the neighborhood, on multiple occasions, they had their private lawyer who was basically working on a case for them at all times. They hated us ever since apparently my father didn't greet them when they walked past while he was working in the garden, he simply didn't notice them but they were having none of that and made it their mission to make us aware of how despicable we are. Me and my sister being teenagers they hated us by default. One time they ringed our door completely outraged, and accused me and my sis of moving their heavy ass potted plants outside by door by a couple inches during the night. To mess with them or something. Obviously we don't have better things to do. They managed to be hated by literally everyone within 1 year and sold the house shortly after. They were absolutely convinced everyone was going out their way to harrass them, when in reality no one cared and later just tried to avoid them to not be sued over some petty bullshit.

[–]Coolbreezy 123 points124 points  (2 children)

Hmmmmmmmmm, could it be they have 5 houses from suing people so much?

[–]UchihaDivergent 21 points22 points  (0 children)

That is exactly what I was thinking!

[–]Yawd 56 points57 points  (10 children)

This looks like England, we wouldn't sue, would definitely fight.

[–]_AlreadyTaken_ 15 points16 points  (0 children)

"Oy! Let's get some lager first. I'm not a barbarian after all."

[–]crappinghell 23 points24 points  (2 children)

Fighting the neighbours is a weekend sport that everyone in the UK enjoys. Dunno why the rest of the world doesn't understand???

[–]aTinofRicePudding 15 points16 points  (0 children)

We had a water fight on our street weekend before last. It was carnage, and it was fantastic.

[–]welcometothegoodburg 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Actually basically. You start power washing their side and a chunk comes off? Well if your neighbors happen to be shit heads then they, well they'll be shit heads.

[–]ClintBartonn 62 points63 points  (12 children)

This is so true and I never understood it. When I was a kid my step mom accidentally mowed less than 4 inches onto our neighbors property line. He came out of his house screaming nonsense and jumped onto our porch and called her a cunt. I've never seen my dad fly out of our door so fast. Poor dude never saw it coming.

[–]HenryCurtmantle 35 points36 points  (0 children)

No good deed ever goes unpunished...

[–]Strykerz3r0 11 points12 points  (0 children)

This. Besides, the wall is clean from their view now. lol

[–]just--looking 11.3k points11.3k points  (229 children)

If they cleaned your side of the fence it would just clash with your filthy yard. They're keeping it consistent for you

[–]_AlreadyTaken_ 5259 points5260 points  (105 children)

Subtle hint there to clean your side of the wall

[–]TinmanTomfoolery 3446 points3447 points  (51 children)

Yeah. Get your shit together OP.

[–]Inconspicuoustrap 1314 points1315 points  (44 children)

Get it all together and put it in your backpack

[–]betrdaz 904 points905 points  (31 children)

Take it to the shit museum

[–]NipplesInAJar 631 points632 points  (20 children)

I don't care what you do, just gotta get your shit together.

[–]dragon_days 57 points58 points  (0 children)

*Comes back around the corner after leaving

"Get your shit together Summer! "

[–]Miamime 162 points163 points  (9 children)

This is a blatant passive aggressive hint OP.

[–]dexter311 166 points167 points  (16 children)

And your yard.

[–]DankGreenBush 118 points119 points  (11 children)

By "yard" do you mean that two square foot slab of concrete?

[–]dexter311 265 points266 points  (9 children)

No, I mean that dirty two square foot slab of concrete.

[–]_Zevan-3Stars_ 561 points562 points  (109 children)

As someone from the south, I think the use of the term "yard" is funny in this post.

[–]jeepCK 358 points359 points  (95 children)

As someone from NJ, this use of yard is still very confusing.

No grass, no trees, no room to play ball. That's merely a sidewalk.

[–]Mandydahlin 386 points387 points  (8 children)

In NYC the fact that there is clover growing in the cracks raised the rent $500 for falling into the "yard" category

[–]3243f6a8885 243 points244 points  (3 children)

A blade of grass once blew across my doormat, and my rent went up $200.

  • San Francisco

[–]coonwhiz 120 points121 points  (1 child)

Then it blew away and you got a cleanup bill.

[–]DrinkCocaine 80 points81 points  (4 children)

as someone from the internet, what is "grass and trees" and what does it mean to "play ball"?

[–]_Zevan-3Stars_ 67 points68 points  (63 children)

Yeah I think you have to at least have some grass/dirt in order for it to be a yard.

[–]Alternative_Baby 145 points146 points  (57 children)

Nah, in England a yard is usually a small-ish paved area on the front or back of your house. If it's got grass it's a garden!

[–]jeepCK 45 points46 points  (0 children)

"yard"

[–]adeward 1750 points1751 points  (195 children)

In the UK, who owns which part of the boundaries between properties should be defined by legal deeds. By law you have to get permission from a neighbour to do anything with their property.

That includes painting your side of their fence, or even repairing a hole in it. If it isn't your fence, you can't touch it. Walls however can be (and often are) divided down the middle. Previous comments have noted the legal difference between party wall and boundary walls. Party walls are owned by both neighbours.

Most neighbours don't really mind, however, as long as people are reasonable. But if either neighbour is remotely new and doesn't have a friendly relationship with the other half, I don't think it's unreasonable of them to err on the side of caution.

[–]gropingforelmo 250 points251 points  (120 children)

How would it typically be resolved when it is time for a fence to be repaired or replaced? Say one neighbor feels the fence needs to be replaced, and the other refuses, or simply doesn't have the funds to pay their share?

[–]jonknee 856 points857 points  (27 children)

You feud for a while and eventually stop acknowledging the other party is human.

[–]PM_4_OfficialTitRank 287 points288 points  (10 children)

Note: this also works in politics

[–]shakethetroubles 110 points111 points  (7 children)

Note: this is also done and never works in politics

FTFY

[–]starlinguk 81 points82 points  (7 children)

Nah, no feuding in Britain. You just stop talking to each other and complain to the other neighbours.

Which reminds me, my neighbour has stopped talking to me and I have no idea why.

[–]hulkbro 14 points15 points  (1 child)

probably let your hedgerow grow slightly too large, reducing the amount of sunlight hitting your neighbour's own tiny patch of solitude. how very dare you be caught out by natural ability of plants to grow! you should be out there every weekend with a ruler sir!

[–]I_MELT_STEEL_BEAMS 206 points207 points  (32 children)

One of my neighbours is a piece of shit who refused to pay his share of the fence (broken by one of his rotten trees no less) and filed a complaint with the city when I paid 100% of it and had it built at 100% regulation height. The city inspector laughed at him and issued him a ticket for not disposing of a rotting tree on his property instead. Small victories.

[–]NotBillNyeScienceGuy 218 points219 points  (28 children)

Oh boy buckle up for this one; so let's establish some characters:

  • Kate (the home owner)
  • John (the neighbor)

So Kate inherits the house behind her, sells her current house and moved in after a major remodel. The first problems started to a raise during the landscaping. Kate had a semi-circle driveway installed and John instantly started yelling and screaming at the workers about their equipment being left out (it wasn't) during the install. He threatened Kate with legal action about not having the proper permits for the work and the workers being too messy and loud. Well he files a complaint and an inspector is supposed to come out. Kate has the contractor double check to make sure everything is in the green, it is. Inspector comes out, laughs, tells John to mind his own business and leaves.

A little while later, Kate also installs a very large garage, adjacent to John's side of the property. He bitches and moans for weeks, complaining about the height of the building, it being too close to the property line, ect. Kate ensures that none of these things are problems and goes the extra mile to move the garage an extra 5 feet from the required distance, and install a drainage system to ensure that John will not be receiving extra drainage as a result of the construction. John bitches and moans some more calling the city.

The inspector comes out and checks the property lines, wait a minute, John. Looks like your fence is actually on the wrong side of the property line, invading on Kate's property about a foot. It's also backwards. Oh, and that tree is a hazard, remove it. Also, looks like your siding is falling off the house, let's tack another red flag on there for ya.

By the end of it, John has like 5 red flags and has pissed off the city inspector's office.

TLDR; Don't be a dick to your neighbors.

[–][deleted]  (3 children)

[deleted]

    [–]KarmaAerospace 51 points52 points  (7 children)

    My neighbor went asshole mode on me over my dog barking WHILE HE WAS OUT SHOOTING HIS GUNS. I live on acreage out in the country. Dogs barking are a part of life here, as are guns going off, chainsaws, tractors, etc. It can get pretty loud during the days. Anyways, he come up one day and is like "Hey, I got a bark collar for my dog, he doesn't bark anymore" even though his dog comes up to the fence line going ape shit from time to time (I don't care). Then like 2 weeks later, while I'm at work, he comes up to the house pissed as shit, banging on the door, and starts to scream at my wife about our fucking dog this and that we need to get a fucking bark collar etc etc. My wife basically replies "Tough shit, Ray."

    I found out about this, and went and talked to him. I understand that people have bad days, and little things can put them over the edge. Ray has always been a decent enough neighbor. I tell him Dog only barks when he's out shooting his gun (his firing range happens to be right on the property line), and dogs are going to bark. Him telling me to keep my dog shut up is like me telling him not to shoot his gun. I don't want bad blood between neighbors, and I'll be happy to get a bark collar for Dog if he'll call up to the house and apologize to my wife. He basically said "Yeah, I'm sorry. I had a shitty day, something about work, blah blah blah" and he called my wife and said the same to her.

    Don't be a dick to your neighbors. If your neighbor be's a dick to you, go talk to them and see what's up. Neighbor feuds suck.

    [–]tinycole2971 34 points35 points  (0 children)

    We live way out in the country too and have asshole neighbors. They own a tiny Thouroughbred retirement "farm" (like 2 small pastures). They are constantly freaking out about our dogs barking, people shooting guns, and fireworks during the holidays upsetting their precious horses. Our dogs only bark when someone pulls up in our yard and we don't have visitors that much.... Not to mention, we live out in the middle of nowhere where everyone has barking dogs. Part of living out in the country is also dealing with people shooting and hunting, especially since we are surrounded by thousands of acres of woods, part of which is a hunting club. Every time they hear a gunshot though, they call everyone screaming about how it's "scaring the horses". Last year, they called the police on the 4th of July because our other neighbor was shooting fireworks off (in her own yard). Fireworks are perfectly legal in our state, we have no noise restrictions out here, and the lady was on her own property. The cop laughed and told the people that maybe they should have bought a horse farm near other horse people instead of moving into a rural community and expecting us to change.

    [–]Ermcb70 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    A feud in the country has a lot more potential to get deadly. Ray knows that.

    [–]I_MELT_STEEL_BEAMS 25 points26 points  (5 children)

    By the end of it, John has like 5 red flags and has pissed off the city inspector's office.

    TLDR; Don't be a dick to your neighbors.

    Also, don't piss off the city inspectors. My next door neighbour is another piece of work (absentee landlord) who yelled at a city inspector who had come to tell him he couldn't leave his front and back yards unkempt. So now the inspector comes regularly with a measuring tape and has city crews clean up everything at his expense at least 3 times a year and the amounts get added to his property tax directly.

    [–]thebluemonkey 92 points93 points  (13 children)

    My parents garden has two fences squidged against each other. One is theirs, the other is the neighbours.

    They're both idiots for resorting to this.

    [–]Tork-n-Tron 12 points13 points  (2 children)

    The backyards in my townhouse style neighborhood have these shitty little plywood sheds built against either of the side fences. It just so happens that mine is built back to back with my neighbor... with a tiny gap between them. It's in pretty bad condition and I wanna tear it down to build a new one by scratch, but that will also be the day I rent a flamethrower to fight back the spider deluge that floods out from back there. I imagine there's a similar situation over there in your parent's fence.

    [–]thebluemonkey 32 points33 points  (0 children)

    Tbh I think they've filled the small void between the fences with their dignity.

    [–]Mr_Tenno 29 points30 points  (3 children)

    In the UK, if they own the fence, there's nothing you can do. There's no obligation to fence your land unless it's around something dangerous. You can however put up your own fence just inside theirs but that comes with the risk that they just take theirs down and pretend that their garden just got a little larger.

    [–]Keyser_Kaiser_Soze 26 points27 points  (3 children)

    I have never heard of a party-fence. There should only be one owner who has to make those decisions. When it becomes a nuisance to the neighbor they usually build their own right next to it on their property.

    [–]DobbyDun 1142 points1143 points  (46 children)

    Your only option is to clean your side of the wall, and then give your side a fresh coat of paint. Make it really shine, so it highlights how trashy their side of the wall is.

    [–]thetoastmonster 340 points341 points  (38 children)

    Clean it, paint it, wax it.

    [–]DingleberryGranola 154 points155 points  (3 children)

    They were careful not to get any clean on your dirt.

    [–]Ready2Comply 3813 points3814 points  (31 children)

    No, your side is dirty.

    [–]Marmite_Badger 596 points597 points  (24 children)

    Maybe they like it dirty ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

    [–]leedeck21 172 points173 points  (16 children)

    filthy...

    [–]moon__lander 103 points104 points  (8 children)

    UNCLEAN, UNCLEAN

    [–]floodinginmymind 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    I'd like to clean your cups

    [–]TechnologyEvangelist 23 points24 points  (3 children)

    on the side, tho.

    No cleano.

    [–]Ready2Comply 16 points17 points  (0 children)

    The 'distressed jeans' look. He probably rubs coffee grounds on his side.

    [–]lobstermoney 492 points493 points  (7 children)

    Dinkelberggg!!!!

    [–]Passerine_ 224 points225 points  (3 children)

    Nah Dinkleberg was actually nice, he would have cleaned his side of the wall and then Timmy's dad would get pissed

    [–]Raichu7 232 points233 points  (18 children)

    Is that not normal? People do the same for painting.

    [–]CheeseyNibbles 120 points121 points  (64 children)

    I immediately assumed this was in Brighton but now I realize most towns and cities have basement flats.

    [–]sparky662 15 points16 points  (1 child)

    Same here, it's got that distinctive look about it. It's because they are likely made of something called bungaroosh, which is basically beach pebbles, shingle, flint and old bricks mixed with a lot of mortar. It's poured into a mould and allowed to set before being finished with plaster, which gives a distinctive texture and finish due to walls being poured rather than built. It was used pre-railways as there was no easy local access to stone or brick clay but lots of shingle, flint and lime mortar availiable locally. It's also fairly specific to Sussex coastal towns, which is why Brighton, Hove, Eastbourne and Worthing share a distinct style.

    [–]mtbha 42 points43 points  (29 children)

    I immediately assumed this was Brighton as well, I haven't searched the comments but was there any clue as to the location?

    Also I assumed this because I've seen this kind of behaviour in Brighton a lot, and rather than it's that one side is clean, it's that one side gets repainted by new owners.

    The colour of the paint as well...

    Edit: it's 100% in Brighton, but I'll spare OP by telling everyone where it is, also spoils the fun.

    [–]Barry_Scotts_Cat 29 points30 points  (5 children)

    I realize most towns and cities have basement flats.

    Do they

    [–]Windows_10_Guy 35 points36 points  (0 children)

    Clean your side too and then paint it new. That will show them who is lazy!

    [–]IWillSayCrassStuff 35 points36 points  (17 children)

    This is like that little strip of grass between my property line and the neighbors driveway. It makes sense for me to go ahead and cut it since it adds about a minute of mowing time and makes it look even. But, if my neighbor cuts it, it doesn't make sense for them to mow my whole lawn to make it even.

    [–]Gunji_Murgi 32 points33 points  (2 children)

    He's shaming you. Just look how dirty your side is and compare it. Just look. Shame on you

    [–]Depuuty 193 points194 points  (11 children)

    Why did you dirty only one side

    [–]dogsaybark 46 points47 points  (3 children)

    I'd paint my half black.

    [–]GullibleFool 40 points41 points  (2 children)

    He's just being a bro. He would never take away the satisfaction that power washing gives.

    [–]wateringtheseed 59 points60 points  (1 child)

    I see nothing wrong here.

    [–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (4 children)

    Damn, if it were me I'd ask if they want me to clean the other side too. 99% of people would be chuffed and probably end up cleaning their patio to match the fresh wall.

    There's always that 1% though, I have awesome neighbours at the moment and don't really want to move for this reason!

    [–]Catch22ismybible 16 points17 points  (3 children)

    I'm lazy at cleaning. You would have just left me feeling guilty or indebted to you. I actually like this way more.

    [–]LoganPhyve 131 points132 points  (30 children)

    Clean your side, then paint exactly and only your side an even brighter white than what's there. But only slightly whiter. Watch the neighbors go completely mad trying to once again get their side cleaner than yours.

    Fight madness with madness, bro.

    [–]Arcinfox 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    I wouldn't be cleanin your side of the wall either, you can do it yourself.

    [–]inthebasket2 91 points92 points  (8 children)

    that's how they avoid getting sued because the current world we live in is truly this fucked.

    [–]abolsandoranges 113 points114 points  (32 children)

    This is what I did in my shared bathroom in college! I liked it because it showed that

    A) I was cleaning

    B) I knew they weren't cleaning

    C) I wanted it to be clean

    And D) I wasn't okay with doing the work for them

    [–]alphalady 36 points37 points  (19 children)

    So did you clean half the toilet or...?

    [–]abolsandoranges 68 points69 points  (17 children)

    Yup. Half the toilet, half the sink, half the shower, half the counter, half the floor. Made sure to leave a crisp line in the middle, too

    [–]egregiousmonkey 181 points182 points  (87 children)

    I sometimes mow my neighbors front lawn. A few times I sprayed tire shine on his truck tires. I never say anything. I do things like that to make people wonder. I'm not sure he knows who did it.

    Ninja edit: I just realized I had an entire conversation with myself and then typed the last thoughts of it here.

    [–]Niburuorwhat 186 points187 points  (39 children)

    You sound like my neighbor, and at first it was nice, but now I've caught him a few times sneaking out of our yard when I came outside unexpectedly and it is creepy!! we don't even talk, why is he doing this? Stop it!!

    [–]WhichWayzUp 43 points44 points  (11 children)

    I've been one of those neighbors who has a small front yard, and when I've finished my yard I go to the next one on either side of me. They're not home when I do this. It's snow shoveling, leaf removal. That's it. It feels good to help, and makes my whole yard clean when the surrounding yards are clean too.

    [–]Mehnard 57 points58 points  (1 child)

    There's nothing wrong with being neighborly. After a hurricane, I knew my neighbor's husband was out of town, so I cut up the tree that fell blocking her car in the garage. What goes around comes around. While I was away the husband manned a garden hose putting out sparks from a house fire that surely would have burned my place down too. I don't think I'd do vehicle maintenance for him though, if he wasn't involved.

    [–]A_shy_neon_jaguar 77 points78 points  (4 children)

    Different strokes for different folks I guess. I would actually be pissed if someone was coming into my yard to mow without my permission or spaying chemicals on my tires.

    [–]09Charger 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    OP should clean his side of the wall......don't be that kind of neighbor........nobody likes that kind of neighbor.......

    And right now, YOU are that kind of neighbor.

    [–]thisismyhiaccount 57 points58 points  (14 children)

    Why should he clean your side?

    [–]Klaeni 337 points338 points  (35 children)

    That's exactly what I would have done - clean my own side of the wall. Just get on with it and clean yours, for fucks sake!

    [–]Dwbtwo 153 points154 points  (7 children)

    I don't think OP was mad. And he certainly didn't complain. He was mildly entertained by the fact that they tried so hard to clean to a perfect fine edge, for whatever reason.

    [–]taintedchops 9 points10 points  (2 children)

    I imagine this is what the border looks like